+WWE Raw Review (1/21/13): Rock and CM Punk Face Off Early
watch wwe RAW full show here (21/1/13)
-After last week’s dud of an episode, +WWE has one last chance to finish their
build for the Royal Rumble. Then, the Road to WrestleMania begins and lots of people start
pointing to a sign in the rafters.
-A nice Martin Luther King Jr. tribute video to start us off.
- +Vickie Guerrero and +Paul Heyman hit the ring to show unity against the +Dwayne Johnson parody songs…”Weird” Al better watch out. Vickie has banned the Rock
from the arena in retaliation and the police have blocked Rocky in the parking
lot. So the Rock tries to enter anyways and lays some verbal abuse on Vickie,
CM Punk, and Paul Heyman but is still unable to enter.
-Also,
tonight we will be having a Beat the Clock Challenge where whoever wins their
match the fastest gets to pick their entry number in the Royal Rumble. Wouldn’t it
automatically be #30? I always like these clock challenges though because it
actually makes the matches on Raw MEAN something, instead of it just being
pointless match after pointless match.
Beat the Clock Challenge
Antonio Cesaro vs. +Randy Orton
Cesaro goes for a quick rollup and Orton returns the favor but Cesaro
works a headlock. Cesaro keeps going for quick pinfall attempts which of course makes sense
in the scheme of the match. Orton comes back with a Thesz Press for two and tries asuplex but gets caught in a small package for
two. Dropkick gets two for Orton and Cesaro powders out, where Orton hits a
clothesline and gets two.
We
take a commercial break and return with Cesaro trying for a superplex at 7:00. Orton punches out but Cesaro
dumps him to the floor. Cesaro impressively deadliftsOrton and
carries him around the ring before hitting a gutwrench suplex for two. Orton fights out of a sleeper
but falls victim to a powerslam and a double stomp for two.
Orton
counters with a clothesline though and mounts his comeback with a powerslamof his own.
The draping DDT though is nicely countered by a jackknife cover from Cesaro for
two and he follows with the Very European Uppercut for another near fall.
We
hit 11:00 and Orton’s shoulder hits the post as he tumbles to the floor. Cesaro
tosses Orton back inside but turns his head for a second to check the clock and
Orton surprises him with the RKO for the win at 11:36.
Winner: Randy Orton
-Cesaro came out of this match looking strong even with taking
the loss, so really no big deal at all. It was a pretty good TV match as well
**1/2.
-Another really nice tribute video, this time for Mick Foley and
his induction into the Hall of Fame.
-The Shield cut a cool promo promising they are just getting
started.
+Big Show vs. Zack Ryder
I really don’t like Ryder’s chances here. Brad Maddox jumps into the announce
position from the crowd as Big Show destroys Ryder with the KO Punch in about
20 seconds.
Winner: Big Show
-I think it’s time for Zack to find another line of work. DUD.
-After
a break, Brad Maddox meets Paul Heyman backstage and Heyman promises to make him famous. Is Heyman channeling 2003 Undertaker now?
Ryback vs. Heath Slater
Slater tries to use his quickness but gets flattened and hit with a spinebuster. The
CLOTHESLINE OF DEATH floors Slater and Ryback takes out the rest of 3MB. Shell Shock
hits and the pin is academic after that.
Winner: Ryback
-A second DUD in a row considering this was a squash-o-rama.
-Meanwhile,
the Rock tries to convince the police to let him in the arena. He finds out one
of the police officers has a ticket but Vickie interrupts and demands an apology
for her to lift the ban. The Rock obviously doesn’t respond well to
that and plots with the police after chasing Vickie away.
-Well,
the first hour wasn’t exactly must-see
television, but hopefully things will pick up.
-CM
Punk hits the ring and I forget how long he has been champion but I have a
feeling he’s going to remind me very soon. Ah, there we go. Anyways, Punk says
the world title is his life’s work and the Rock isn’t allowed to take
it from him. The Rock is here to tell jokes while CM Punk is here to hurt
people and keep his title. A great promo follows from Punk as he gives an
ultra-serious talk about earning the title and what being a champion means.
Awesome promo.
Beat the Clock Challenge
Dolph Ziggler vs. +The Miz 'Awesome'
If the Miz starts using the figure-four as a
finisher, I’m going to be really upset. Miz hits a quick dropkick for two and gets
a few more quick two counts before Dolph slows things down with a headlock.
Elbow off the ropes gets two for Miz and they go into a nice pinfall reversal sequence that ended with a
crisp dropkick by Ziggler for two.
Neckbreaker gets two for Dolph and he works a rear chinlock but Miz fights out and hits a chopblock on Dolph’s knee to start setting up
for the figure four. Of course, he applies it to the wrong leg but Dolph dumps
him anyways for Big E Langston to add some punishment. Dolph gets two off of
that and we take a break.
We
return with 3:45 left and Dolph trying for another neckbreaker but getting taken over with a
backslide for two. More quick action leads to a Miz boot for two and he goes nuts in the
corner, hammering away and hitting his clothesline.
Miz comes off the top with a double axe handle for two as the crowd
starts to get into it. Skull Crushing Finale is countered and they hit another pinfall reversal spot and Dolph ends it with a
jumping DDT for two.
Under
two minutes left and Dolph tries for a dropkick but Miz catches him in the figure four. AJ distracts
the referee so Langston can drag Dolph to the ropes for a break. Nice spot.
Under
a minute left and Miz tries a rollup but gets distracted by Langston, and
Dolph hits the Zig Zag with 30 seconds left to get the win
and set a new time.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
-See
why this Beat the Clock stuff is good for Raw? It gives the matches a sense of
drama and the crowd starts feeling the urgency as the clock ticks down.
Anyways, this was a really good match between these two as Miz seemed ultra-motivated and really hung
with Ziggler during the fast-paced spots ***.
Anger Management Graduation
Yep, it’s time for more Dr. Shelby and the Team Hell No Comedy Hour, which is
fine by me. Bryan and +WWE KANE head
out wearing graduation gowns and Daniel has even slicked his hair back. Kane
and Daniel argue over who the Valedictorian is so neither have to give a
speech, and that somehow leads to everyone at ringside hugging. Well, that was
certainly an odd segment.
-Recap
of Eve quitting WWE last week…my God, what a loss to the
roster.
Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn
I had no idea Alicia was even still on the roster. Alicia runs Kaitlyn into the
corner and tumbles to the floor in a sloppy spot. Scary spot as Kaitlyn dives
off the apron, slamming Fox’s head into the floor by landing with her full body
weight on Fox’s chest.
Back
inside, Alicia tosses Kaitlyn around by her hair and hits a clothesline for
two. Fox whiffs on a kick and Kaitlyn hits an ugly spear for the pin.
Winner: Kaitlyn
-Well, that stunk. 1/2* for the outfits and cleavage.
-So
CM Punk takes a seat in a luxury box as Paul Heyman hits the ring to mock the crowd and
promote Punk. I can summarize his promo very simply: The Rock is stupid and so
are the people. The Rock has gotten hold of a ticket, though, a ticket which
apparently gives him access to the entrance ramp. I need to buy one of those
next time WWE rolls through Pittsburgh.
Heyman immediately points this out, of course, but gets interrupted and
tossed out of the ring. Rock busts out one of his trademark coked up promos
where he promises to end the title reign of Punk once and for all.
However,
the lights shut off at the end of the promo and the Shield attacks in the
darkness. Triple powerbomb lays out the People’s Champion and the
Rock is left laying as Punk brags from the luxury box. Good booking there as
you tease Shield’s involvement in the title match on Sunday.
Beat the Clock Challenge Match
Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett
Sheamus quickly floors Wade as King and Cole
relay the rules of the Royal Rumble to a presumably stupid wrestling audience.
Slow start as Wade hammers away in the corner with no sense of urgency but Sheamus fires back and hits the Celtic Cross
for two. Barrett responds with a clothesline over the top and that takes us to
our mid-match commercial break.
We
return with Barrett getting a two count with 5:00 left and Wade works a Fujiwaraarmbar. In real life,
that’s an automatic submission but, since this is wrestling, it’s aresthold. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Hammer and Sheamus throws his forearms in the ropes with
three and a half minutes to go.
A suplex gets two for Sheamus but Barrett dodges a Brogue kick and
hits a big kick to the face for two. Flying elbow off the second rope also gets
two as we go under 2:00. Barrett looks for Wasteland but Sheamus fights out and hits White Noise with a
minute and a half left.
Sheamus looks to finish but Dolph, AJ, and Langston run out for a
distraction allowing Barrett to hit Winds of Change for two. Thirty seconds
left and both guys are out butSheamus recovers first and hits the Brogue
kick. Unfortunately, the clock runs out before Sheamus can
get the cover, allowing Dolph to pick his number at the Rumble.
No Contest
-Pretty
good booking there as Dolph didn’t care who won,
just as long as it didn’t beat his time.
This match started slow but turned into a decent, hard-hitting match **1/4.
-After
a break, Dolph and AJ gloat in front of Vickie Guerrero but she reveals thatZiggler doesn’t get to pick ANY
number, he just gets to choose between #1 or #2. Well, that’s a really
disappointing payoff to the show’s angle.
-Meanwhile,
CM Punk and Paul Heyman run into Vince McMahon backstage
and deny any involvement with the Shield. Vinnie Mac promise to strip Punk of
the world title if the Shield interferes in the Punk’s match on Sunday.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Tensai
If they were smart, they would run a translation of Ricardo’s introduction on
theTitanTron or something like that. Tensai attacks quickly and hits a pair of
pump splashes for a two count but Alberto comes back with flying headscissors off the second rope.
Del
Rio impressively hits a German suplex and hits a second-rope moonsault (which actually missed) for the win.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
-I’m
actually surprised at how over Del Rio has gotten as a babyface, so hopefully
they can maintain his momentum. Match was a total squash and had nothing much
going for it. 1/2*. Alberto has the crowd count to 10 in Spanish which means
they are still ripping off ECW 13 years later.
-The
second member of the 2013 Hall of Fame Class is Bob Backlund…no problem
with that whatsoever.
Main Event Interview
So John Cena hits the ring and launches into
another goofy interview by making Black Ops 2 jokes to an elementary school kid
in the front row. Seriously, I don’t get the point of these promos at all.
Then, after making stupid jokes for five minutes, he just simply says he’s
going to win the Royal Rumble…whatever.
Sheamus interrupts Cena’s exit, though,
and promises to win the Rumble until the Prime Time Players and Randy Orton make
their presence known as well. The Mizthrows his hat in
the ring as well and so does Team Hell No.
We get a little further down the card now as Antonio Cesaro and
3MB run their mouths for a bit followed by the rest of the locker room. Of
course, a big pier-six brawl breaks out to surprisingly very little crowd
reaction. People start getting tossed over the top and we fade to black.
Final Word
This was actually a pretty strong episode of Raw outside of a few minor
annoyances. The Beat the Clock matches were well-booked and well-worked while
CM Punk and the Rock brought the awesome with their promos for the title match.
The
John Cena promo was pointless and stupid, but
that’s becoming a weekly thing with that guy, so what do you expect? Anyways,
if you can fast-forward through the commercials and the Cena stuff, these three hours actually went
pretty quick and that’s all I ask for.
